My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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