so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
