You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
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It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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