i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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