Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
