Acid is not a monday night drug
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
