So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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