Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
