so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
