You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
