I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
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I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.