Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...

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  (250): note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex... http://tfl.nu/vx0w
  Replies (51) Good night (742) Bad night (5591)
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  (424): View more from California

  I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed

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  (424): I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed http://tfl.nu/t74f
  Replies (9) Good night (4971) Bad night (1137)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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  (757): I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it. http://tfl.nu/uqxt
  Replies (13) Good night (9656) Bad night (1789)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.

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  (228): He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him. http://tfl.nu/emw6
  Replies (10) Good night (1162) Bad night (2755)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned

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  (847): He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned http://tfl.nu/f6cf
  Replies (14) Good night (2792) Bad night (1500)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  you dipped you banana in queso last night.

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  (912): you dipped you banana in queso last night. http://tfl.nu/375m
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (1609)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'

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  (217): I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem' http://tfl.nu/0jvg
  Replies (22) Good night (1858) Bad night (3360)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.

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  (817): I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut. http://tfl.nu/n51l
  Replies (14) Good night (2844) Bad night (1161)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.

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  (651): And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab. http://tfl.nu/lb7r
  Replies (7) Good night (1349) Bad night (557)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.

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  (248): im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night. http://tfl.nu/slk3
  Replies (2) Good night (458) Bad night (1384)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score

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  (608): his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score http://tfl.nu/rd1e
  Replies (7) Good night (1372) Bad night (500)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.

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  (614): There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse. http://tfl.nu/wnun
  Replies (4) Good night (1249) Bad night (434)
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  (213): View more from California

  Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  ... and if i was..

  (213): View more from California

  Fuck. You.

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  (213): Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten. (201): ... and if i was.. (213): Fuck. You. http://tfl.nu/ty6i
  Replies (5) Good night (1677) Bad night (431)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.

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  (231): It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud. http://tfl.nu/k8j8
  Replies (5) Good night (474) Bad night (314)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?

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  (609): I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian? http://tfl.nu/utza
  Replies (1) Good night (223) Bad night (468)

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