Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...

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  (562): he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out... http://tfl.nu/eghd
  Replies (62) Good night (712) Bad night (8280)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside

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  (724): I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside http://tfl.nu/gfts
  Replies (23) Good night (1211) Bad night (4321)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.

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  (817): Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea. http://tfl.nu/vfyw
  Replies (6) Good night (2724) Bad night (837)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.

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  (859): She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times. http://tfl.nu/xxc1
  Replies (8) Good night (1206) Bad night (3601)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong

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  (250): But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong http://tfl.nu/o9zp
  Replies (7) Good night (1060) Bad night (2148)
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  (760): View more from California

  Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?

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  (760): Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl? http://tfl.nu/fr90
  Replies (10) Good night (1338) Bad night (1322)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.

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  (662): She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/ji5s
  Replies (8) Good night (2941) Bad night (663)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?

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  (515): Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch? http://tfl.nu/hxz0
  Replies (20) Good night (2543) Bad night (943)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.

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  (651): My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex. http://tfl.nu/dfh2
  Replies (14) Good night (1630) Bad night (487)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had

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  (905): I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had http://tfl.nu/i6b3
  Replies (8) Good night (546) Bad night (381)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!

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  (321): I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis! http://tfl.nu/o0qu
  Replies (4) Good night (602) Bad night (317)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go

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  (850): We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go http://tfl.nu/28iq
  Replies (4) Good night (405) Bad night (226)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what

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  (860): Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what http://tfl.nu/zlfv
  Replies (4) Good night (554) Bad night (226)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.

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  (704): Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day. http://tfl.nu/lzy7
  Replies (7) Good night (350) Bad night (311)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts

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  (917): I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts http://tfl.nu/w8os
  Replies (2) Good night (250) Bad night (723)

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