No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
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I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
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This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time