Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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