well you can't waste a boner
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
