Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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