Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also, beer. Big fan.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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