haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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