My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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