I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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