Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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