I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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