maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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