I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize