Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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