I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
