Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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