so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Let's get the cat blown out
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
