so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
