Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
