so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
