Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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