There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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