i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
