im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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