i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
