You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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