Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
