We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
