office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
