Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
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basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
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I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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