Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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