Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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