Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
