dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
