don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize