why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
