singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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