it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
