He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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