Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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