all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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