I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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