i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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