Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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