I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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