You really coming over, don't trick.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
