OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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