will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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