hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
