maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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