the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
