My room smells like vodka and shame
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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