he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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