I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
