Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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