I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
