it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
