wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
