We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
