I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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