What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
