I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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